Sorry i havnt been on in such a while i no longer live with my parents so dont get to update much. i have got my own flat now i live with my partner and my son. Everything in pretty good tyler is more content and iam alot happier having a bit my independance and a bit more of a routine with tyler. Things havnt been to great between me and steven there is not give or take with him he never meets me half way. and i avoid arguing as much as i can coz he always walks out and i hate it, its not fair on me or tyler. i feel like most days i do everything the cleaning the cooking the washing and dealing with tyler bathing him feeding him etc etc ...... most the time things are ok just some days he can be really selfish. I feel like i dont exsist we are really struggling with money as he lost his job the first week we moved in so things are tight i feel like i have no nice clothes i never feel attractive. He never makes me feel attractive. we dont make love as much as we used to there must be something wrong with me he just not as interested only when he wants it and how he wants it what ui want never seems to matter i made myself look real nice the other day i looked feminen and attractive i felt really good and my sister said i looked nice and made a nice effort. All steven could say was ........why? i dont think he meant it to sound the way it did but i just feel like he never notices me. we never go out coz we are so skint i mean dont get me wrong things are good it just the lil things u know seem to be fading away a bit. anyway gotta go and shouldnt moan there are still people worse off then me .
today me and mike were supposed to meet up at MLK Park... i got pissed cuz my bro wanted to leave as soon as we got there but cometo find out an hour later he didnt go...like everyone says pay babck is a bitch.. ive done it to him before so i couldnt really get mad... i cried though.. i really feel like im not a good girlfriend... like im mean to him and he justtakes it... but honestly he doesnt seem to havea "sweet'bone in his body... like he never suprises me says sweet things as much as before i dunno if i should be worried or not.. and he puts track before me... a sport... and i put... nothing before him.. nothing i treat him like my king and i expect to be treated like a queen.. spoil me g** dammit! i have 4 months til the expecting days when he gonna be leaving which is17 saturdays... 27 days outta school 1 holiday and 1 birthday... so i have 56 oppurtunities to see him... imma take em all... carpe diem right? soo im live my days with him.. no matter what, who when or how.. i need to see him... to prove to everyone that (1) imma good girlfirend (2) that he cares and loves me (3) that we are meant to be and nothing will stop us... unless he cheats on, lies to, or keeps secrets from me....then i have no choice... i miss my baby boy...
我家门前报春的红梅
阳春三月，我迎着晨光和轻风走近亭立在门前的一 颗含苞待放的红梅，衬着草地，映着蓝天，这颗红梅红的超凡 脱俗，美的出神入画，她有着天使般的魔力，看着她，你会神 往，走近她，你会沉醉。绿草因为她变得更加翠绿。蓝天因为 她变得更加湛蓝。她大方地告诉我们，春来了，带着希望和梦 想，带着喜悦和幸福。
多少年来，我不是没机会遇到这报春的红梅，可我 就是没看见。
因为太忙，我们忽略了生活中的美，因为太忙，我 们放弃了眼前的幸福。
感谢红梅，她告诉我真正的美用不着多余的装饰； 感谢红梅，告诉我只要用心去观察和体验，生活会带给我无限 的惊喜。 今天是老公的生日，像赞美红梅那样赞美老公会让人感到肉 麻，但我应该让我的老公知道我每天都在认真地享受和欣赏着 身边的‘红梅’。 我欣赏你， 我心粗，你心细； 我欣赏你， 我喜欢在家也当‘老师’，你情愿在家甘当‘学生’； 我欣赏你， 每当我不自觉地提高嗓门时，你便会十分刻意地压低声音； 我欣赏你， 我天生争强好胜，你从不扫我兴致； 我欣赏你， 我是张狂的‘小’女人，你是低调的‘大’男人。
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